What is family?

It has been a long time since I've blogged. I allowed my blogging, and my serious efforts to heal my lungs, to be waylaid by "family" matters. The tensions created by these matters have done nothing to aid my health. I can only hope the small things I have continued to do will ultimately offset any harm done by undeserved stress. I continue to attend my Qigong classes, although my teacher's summer schedule, and sometimes my own, have caused several classes to be missed. I have practiced here at my house, but have not been as diligent as my health requires. I have continued to swim, but not with the joyous abandon I so loved before. I have also stopped listening to my healing music CDs and my CDs of musical Buddhist chants. I have continued my work with A Course In Miracles, but not as conscientiously as I would have under normal circumstances.

My "family" matter revolves around the sale of property owned by my mother who passed away in 2008. The property was inherited by four people and was contracted for sale by one. I believe this was simply a mistake on the part of the one, who did not realize the consequences of what was done. However, my attempt to correct the mistake has ruptured into a full blown war between "them" and "me," although I remain an unwilling participant.

I have been vilified and now ostracised by my "family." I have used quotes on that word throughout because I was taught by my parents that "family" will always protect you and always stand by you. "Family" should not argue, but if they do they make up before nightfall. "Family" listens. "Family" cares.

This has not been true in this instance. My parents would be very disappointed in their "family." They would not be disappointed in me, although other "family" members would heavily dispute this.

A vicious eruption of angry bile was spewed on me over a letter that had not been received, opened, or read. A letter that did not blame, did not attempt to halt the sale, did nothing other than to state there were concerns about the way the sales contract had been handled.

It was never about money, although my "family" cannot perceive this. My "family" does not realize the concessions I made for them. They do not realize what it was in my rightful power to do. Examples: I could have stopped the sale altogether. I could have demanded that, in the least, a new contract be written. I could have properly, legally, and justifiably asked for - and received - approximately $20,000 more than I did because my mother's property was greatly devalued. I could have refused to attend the closing. I could have sued, but with a suit that would not have been brought against any member of my "family." I did none of those things. I simply refused to pay a certain fee for a very certain, very particular, and very legal reason. That's all I did. My "family" knows none of this because they do not care to know. They think I wanted to take money from the "family" member who contracted the sale. I could have done so. But I didn't. Why? I would never harm any of my "family" in any way. If they were speaking to me, I could explain all of this. But they are not.

This is so hurtful to me that I cannot continue writing. I can feel my anxiety level rising and that does nothing for the health of my lungs. I will close this post simply by saying that I did nothing wrong. I did nothing to hurt my "family." In fact, my actions saved them, and myself, from possible future legal and financial ramifications that they will never know about. I should have been thanked for my efforts. Instead, I have been shunned. What hurts me most is the shunning by one person with whom I believed I had a special bond. I believe that person has been bullied into breaking that bond and my heart hurts on both their accounts.

What is family? Family is a group of people who will always listen, speak their disagreements (if there are any), compromise if necessary, and still love you, still respect you, and always be grateful to be a member of your family. I have three such people who are blood Family with no quotation marks and others in the background, not related. The three are my daughter, my granddaughter, and one of my cousins who grew up with my "family."

For the other "family," I am so sorry for us all.