I previously reported a dream and must record a "sign" I received yesterday while driving. I got behind a car with a Tennessee state license plate (my state) that pictured a gigantic turkey with tail in full peacock-like array. I decided, in a quiet way of course - mumbling to myself actually - to inform the driver that the Tennessee state bird was not a turkey. It's the mockingbird. Then it struck me. I was looking at a big, fat, turkey - seemingly out of place - when only the night before I had dreamt of a Thanksgiving turkey carcass. As I said, I took it to be a sign that I am indeed on the right path. That I can restore my body to excellent health.
I'm going to my Qigong class this morning. As an agoraphobic who is now also aware of low oxygen level issues, last night and early this morning, I didn't want to go. That's changed. I am now wearing my big butt, loose fitting, "Qigong pants," which are actually pants I've had probably since the 80's, but I've never been too great at throwing stuff away.
I will walk my dog, then get ready to go with the flow of Qigong.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Everyday really is today
I'm glad I chose the above for the title of my blog. I feel much better today than I did yesterday. It's about one and a half hours after I got out of bead. I have dressed, makeup and all as I have to go out today, taken my dog outside, did my Dr. Weil breathing technique, and my tapping. Maybe later on today I will explain what both of those are and where to find the resources, but right now I want to record a dream I had early this morning that seems symbolic of how I am working to heal my body and maybe even prophetic of what is to come.
My dream: I was in a nearby town with my older brother. There was a water shortage and we were searching for it. I found a six-pack of grape juice in my purse, removed a bottle and took a big swig only to spit it out. It had foamed up in my mouth and tasted bad. I looked at the label and it had expired in 1998. My mother (who has crossed over) appeared and asked why I spit it out and - I think - thought I shouldn't throw it away, but at any rate, she told me not to worry that I had poisoned myself. That I had not and was OK.
My brother said he had found a job where he could get us food and water - I had a child with me - my daughter I believe, but I'm not sure. Then I found on a table what appeared to be both the carcass of a well-eaten Thanksgiving turkey, but at the same time it was a small bird. It was blue and it appeared to be dead. I noticed slight breath in it, however, and told my brother that it wasn't dead. It was alive! I picked it up and began petting it - again, I believe that's what I did. At any rate, it immediately turned into a plump, healthy, smiling baby that I held happily in my arms.
There was more to the dream, but the almost-dead-blue-colored-bird turning into a healthy baby symbolizes to me that I am indeed making a new, healthy life for myself. That I can, and do, and will, create a new, healthy body for myself. I believe my brother was in the dream, supporting me by finding water (as life supporting as air...), because I spoke with him on the phone yesterday. He was very positive about all the things I am doing to regain my health and encouraged me. I don't talk with my brother on a regular basis. Neither one of us are phone or drop-by kind of people. But I know he loves me and I love him. I believe my mother was in the dream to reassure me that I wasn't "poisoned."
That's all for now. I just wanted to get that dream down before I forgot it. And I have indeed had a great day so far and intend to continue to do so. I'll let you know!
My dream: I was in a nearby town with my older brother. There was a water shortage and we were searching for it. I found a six-pack of grape juice in my purse, removed a bottle and took a big swig only to spit it out. It had foamed up in my mouth and tasted bad. I looked at the label and it had expired in 1998. My mother (who has crossed over) appeared and asked why I spit it out and - I think - thought I shouldn't throw it away, but at any rate, she told me not to worry that I had poisoned myself. That I had not and was OK.
My brother said he had found a job where he could get us food and water - I had a child with me - my daughter I believe, but I'm not sure. Then I found on a table what appeared to be both the carcass of a well-eaten Thanksgiving turkey, but at the same time it was a small bird. It was blue and it appeared to be dead. I noticed slight breath in it, however, and told my brother that it wasn't dead. It was alive! I picked it up and began petting it - again, I believe that's what I did. At any rate, it immediately turned into a plump, healthy, smiling baby that I held happily in my arms.
There was more to the dream, but the almost-dead-blue-colored-bird turning into a healthy baby symbolizes to me that I am indeed making a new, healthy life for myself. That I can, and do, and will, create a new, healthy body for myself. I believe my brother was in the dream, supporting me by finding water (as life supporting as air...), because I spoke with him on the phone yesterday. He was very positive about all the things I am doing to regain my health and encouraged me. I don't talk with my brother on a regular basis. Neither one of us are phone or drop-by kind of people. But I know he loves me and I love him. I believe my mother was in the dream to reassure me that I wasn't "poisoned."
That's all for now. I just wanted to get that dream down before I forgot it. And I have indeed had a great day so far and intend to continue to do so. I'll let you know!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
My second today
This today is not as strong, so far, as when I wrote my first post. I have walked, exercised, done a meditation that I am intending to do daily. But I feel a bit tired and perhaps dejected today. Maintaining an upbeat, positive attitude is not my norm. It is my intention to create a new "norm" for myself each and every day. New health, new attitude, new me. Ah, that might be the rub - thinking I have to create a new me. That implies there is something wrong with the old me. A sad thought. For the purposes of this blog and this journey to heal my lungs, the only attention I need to give to the old me must be directed towards my lungs. Yes, the reason I have lung disease goes much deeper than the physical act of smoking cigarettes and even genetics. Not everyone who smokes gets emphysema. But I'm not going to argue that point today. I'm not going to do anything today except live this day as well as I can. It is only 12:30 p.m. There are many hours during which I may feel more positive and energetic. And maybe even that doesn't matter as long as I keep exercising and pretending my body is young, flexible, and healthy - smoke free, anxiety free, depression free. Pretending for now. If I pretend enough, I will most likely make it so.
Monday, April 26, 2010
A new start
At some point during the night, I woke up with the right prong of a cannula in my eye. It was breezy, it was cool, it was disturbing. I adjusted it accordingly.
For the uneducated (as I myself previously was...), a cannula is tubing that dispenses oxygen to a person through two prongs that go in the nose. It's attached to an oxygen tank or, as in my case, a machine that makes oxygen from the surrounding air. A better choice (as long as the power is on) as the oxygen supply will never run out. This machine has a proper name, but at the moment I can't remember it.
This is difficult... I'm new at blogging. I'm newer at having to have oxygen therapy. My "prescription" is for nighttime only, but having my doctor tell me I needed it at all was a shock. I have emphysema. I used to always say I had COPD - the new term used to soften the blow of being labeled as someone who was an old, crusty, cigarette-smoking-sinner. That's not entirely the truth. First of all, I'm not crusty. Not yet anyway. Second of all, cigarette smoking isn't a sin. It's an addiction and I'm proud to say I quit approximately 8 years ago. But that's all in the past. As my blog title says, everyday is today. For me, that means each day I wake up presents endless opportunities to live whatever kind of life I desire. For the purposes of this blog, I'm writing about my intention to live a long and healthy life with lungs that provide my body with plenty of oxygen coming in and the right amount of carbon dioxide flowing out. Balance. That's what my lungs, my body, my life needs. Balance. And I'm working on it.
I have previously read that the practice of Qigong can increase lung function. Last week I got on the internet to try to find a class near me and I was delighted to find a Medical Qigong class very close to where I live. Coincidence? I don't think so as I don't believe in those, but that's a blog for another "today."
I had my first hour-long class last Friday and it was great. I did the poses without becoming breathless or anxious. It was an excellent experience for me in many ways and I have signed up for the next 8 weeks.
Since the class, I have practiced the poses I remember and have also done my own form of exercise. I walk more than I used to and I have made up some "poses" of my own. I like them; they make me feel good.
This is my first post. I intend to get better at blogging and breathing. But this is Today and Today I Am Good.
For the uneducated (as I myself previously was...), a cannula is tubing that dispenses oxygen to a person through two prongs that go in the nose. It's attached to an oxygen tank or, as in my case, a machine that makes oxygen from the surrounding air. A better choice (as long as the power is on) as the oxygen supply will never run out. This machine has a proper name, but at the moment I can't remember it.
This is difficult... I'm new at blogging. I'm newer at having to have oxygen therapy. My "prescription" is for nighttime only, but having my doctor tell me I needed it at all was a shock. I have emphysema. I used to always say I had COPD - the new term used to soften the blow of being labeled as someone who was an old, crusty, cigarette-smoking-sinner. That's not entirely the truth. First of all, I'm not crusty. Not yet anyway. Second of all, cigarette smoking isn't a sin. It's an addiction and I'm proud to say I quit approximately 8 years ago. But that's all in the past. As my blog title says, everyday is today. For me, that means each day I wake up presents endless opportunities to live whatever kind of life I desire. For the purposes of this blog, I'm writing about my intention to live a long and healthy life with lungs that provide my body with plenty of oxygen coming in and the right amount of carbon dioxide flowing out. Balance. That's what my lungs, my body, my life needs. Balance. And I'm working on it.
I have previously read that the practice of Qigong can increase lung function. Last week I got on the internet to try to find a class near me and I was delighted to find a Medical Qigong class very close to where I live. Coincidence? I don't think so as I don't believe in those, but that's a blog for another "today."
I had my first hour-long class last Friday and it was great. I did the poses without becoming breathless or anxious. It was an excellent experience for me in many ways and I have signed up for the next 8 weeks.
Since the class, I have practiced the poses I remember and have also done my own form of exercise. I walk more than I used to and I have made up some "poses" of my own. I like them; they make me feel good.
This is my first post. I intend to get better at blogging and breathing. But this is Today and Today I Am Good.
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