My second today

This today is not as strong, so far, as when I wrote my first post. I have walked, exercised, done a meditation that I am intending to do daily. But I feel a bit tired and perhaps dejected today. Maintaining an upbeat, positive attitude is not my norm. It is my intention to create a new "norm" for myself each and every day. New health, new attitude, new me. Ah, that might be the rub - thinking I have to create a new me. That implies there is something wrong with the old me. A sad thought. For the purposes of this blog and this journey to heal my lungs, the only attention I need to give to the old me must be directed towards my lungs. Yes, the reason I have lung disease goes much deeper than the physical act of smoking cigarettes and even genetics. Not everyone who smokes gets emphysema. But I'm not going to argue that point today. I'm not going to do anything today except live this day as well as I can. It is only 12:30 p.m. There are many hours during which I may feel more positive and energetic. And maybe even that doesn't matter as long as I keep exercising and pretending my body is young, flexible, and healthy - smoke free, anxiety free, depression free. Pretending for now. If I pretend enough, I will most likely make it so.