I am my own cheerleader

This started out as a pity party. Because I live alone, it would be nice to have someone cheer me on. Someone to say they were proud of me for going to the grocery and the pool. Probably someone has (after the fact) and in my pity mode of today I've just forgotten. But I do realize that I always have been and always will be the best cheerleader - or heckler - I can have. That's just the way it is. I would seriously like to stop heckling myself, downgrading, degrading, etc. and I believe I am more successful at this as the years go by. My "inner critic" is not nearly so loud as she used to be. Glad to report, however, that my inner child is still capable of great play!

I've been to the pool twice this week, having a good time and staying about two and a half hours each time. Yesterday, before I went to the pool, my heart was pounding which could mean my oxygen is low. I took a reading (something I'm not supposed to do, but I did). Anyway, the oximeter was beeping which means either oxygen is too low or heart rate is too high or both. Yesterday it was both, but my oxygen level began to rise even though my heart rate finally "cooled down" to around 110. It started at above 120. Since my oxygen was OK I said what the heck - I'm going to the pool! And I did. And I had fun. And the amazing thing was, when I did get to the pool I never noticed that my heart was pounding or racing. I didn't even think about it.

It is still difficult for me to know when my "symptoms" are illness related or just nerves. I think yesterday it was a little of both, but obviously mostly nerves as I had a great time.

Back to the original pity fest, I suppose I was wondering if I will always have to be my own cheerleader to get myself going. Well, why not? I'm the best one who knows what's going on inside me. And I am the only one, really, who can make myself healthier, continue to exercise, go out, and do things. Even when it seems embarrassing or hard or scary.

So rah, rah, rah for me!!!!! Two, four, six, eight. Who do I appreciate? Me! Me! Me!!!!!!!!!!!!