Breakthrough

Yesterday I did indeed have a breakthrough. In the morning I attended my Qigong class. It was wonderful. I could feel myself opening up, receiving energy and air into all parts of my body. My lungs felt clean and clear, my shoulders and neck were not tight. I felt as if I were healing at warp speed.

My Qigong facilitator is amazing. She has studied in China and is working on her Master's degree in Medical Qigong. I believe she is also a gifted healer. She removed some black energy from my upper back region before we started class. I know this contributed to my sense of well being, and the feeling has lasted.

In the afternoon I got gas for my car and went to the grocery. I used my portable oxygen and it did not bother me one bit. I held my head high and literally raced around the store. I smiled and nodded at people, spoke with the cashier - and she with me - as if I was not attached to an oxygen tank. It was possibly the best trip I've had to a grocery store ever.

The evening continued peacefully watching television with my dog, and sampling the marvelous delicacies I had bought at the store. For dinner I had a peanut butter and banana sandwich on toast. Delicious.

The feeling stays with me this morning. I believe I have, at last, begun the uphill climb toward health and well being. That's not to say I won't have any more depression or not-so-fabulous days, but if I don't, I won't be surprised. I feel so much better about my health, my life, my purpose. There have been times during which I felt my only purpose in life was to offer other people the opportunity to be kind and compassionate. That sounds as if I nominated myself for Secret Sainthood, but that's not the case. It was the only way I could explain to myself why my life seemed so hard and why I could not accomplish great things - things that would uplift mankind. Delusions of grandeur? No, just a genuine desire to help. And I do believe there are people who come into this lifetime in difficult circumstances exactly for the purpose I stated above. But these are true Secret Saints and I will no longer attempt to align my situation in life with theirs. I am a different kind of Secret with a different kind of purpose. I will think more on that and write an explanation as it comes to me.

It's certainly possible that there is no purpose for any of us. But I believe there is, and what each one of us believes about ourselves is really all that matters. I believe I can heal myself and I hope to help heal others by example. For now, it is a beautiful summer day. I have the anticipation of visiting with my daughter and granddaughter today. And I feel wonderful.