The historic Nashville flood's impact on my journey

Over the past weekend, Metropolitan Nashville and its surrounding counties, experienced a flood of mammoth proportions. It started raining during the early morning hours of Saturday, May 1, and did not stop until sometime Sunday night. During that time more than 13 inches of rainfall was the official count, although in some places 15 or more inches were reported. Many people have lost their homes and all their possessions. I was fortunate. My fenced in patio flooded to about 5 inches of standing water and threatened to come into my kitchen. Fortunately, the water receded on Saturday night and did not rise as high on Sunday. I was definitely one of the lucky ones.

What this has to do with my journey to heal concerns the anxiety I felt during these two days. I live alone and, having no one to discuss the situation with, let frightening thoughts come into my head. A lot of "what if" thinking - something I have worked to eliminate from my mind. Still, they came. "What if the power goes off?" "What if I have to evacuate?" "What if I simply want to go to a neighbor's house or a relative's for companionship or safety?" "What if I want, or need, to go to a hotel?" And why all this wonder about leaving my little house????? The machine that makes the oxygen. (I still can't remember its proper name.) I have no portable unit. I have an emergency oxygen tank (which, sitting here in the room with me is a bit of a fright in itself as it's highly flammable). However, that tank is also rather large and is only good for five hours.

What to do... What to do... Try not to worry and understand that I could get through one night without supplemental oxygen if necessary. After all, I've been doing it for who knows how long before I had my doctor appointment in mid April.

That eased my worries, but more importantly, it increased my desire to be free of the machine and the tank altogether by healing my own body and producing the oxygen my body needs all by myself. And I am succeeding.

Today I did two hours of Qigong work, meditation, and breathing exercises. I bought an "oximeter," which registers one's heart rate and oxygen level. Today mine was the highest yet. I reached the number 98 during my exercise period. My resting rate, which at 89 in the doctor's office was the reason for the supplemental oxygen, stayed at a fairly steady 94. Occasionally it would dip down and occasionally it would rise higher. A reading of 95 to 100 is "normal." It is my goal to reach and remain at a steady 98 (or higher...) by my next visit to my doctor, which will be in mid July.

I have had pretend conversations with my doctor in which she is surprised at my high and healthy oxygen level. She will think it is the supplemental oxygen and I will tell her, "I'm sure that helped, but I have been working to heal myself." Then I outline the things I'm doing and I either begin or end with a statement that popped into my head at some point during the Weekend Of The Great Flood: "I had two choices: Give up or get well." I chose the latter.

Today is today and today I am well.